Resources for Coming out
Terms, Definitions, And Guides
Gender Unicorn Diagram - Helps explain the differences between gender identity and expression, sex assigned at birth, sexual and romantic orientation
GSA Network: Gender & Sexuality Terms - Created to help GSAs develop a common language and understand terms used within various communities
GLSEN: Pronoun Usage - A guide created by GLSEN to help anyone learn how to use people’s correct pronouns
NRCYS: Cisgender Privilege Checklist - A checklist to help individuals better understand systemic transphobia by considering their own experiences
The Trevor Project: The Coming Out Handbook - Explore what coming out means to you with tools and guiding questions (PDF version available to download at the bottom of the page)
Youth Services Tulsa: A Mini Guide to Coming Out - Offers some things to consider when thinking about coming out, especially to family
Coping and connection
99 Coping Skills - Explore a list of various coping skills compiled by Your Life Your Voice from Boys Town National Hotline
Coping with Gender Dysphoria - A list of 24 different coping strategies, some specific to coping with gender dysphoria and some general, put together by QLife, an Australian peer support and referral service
P.A.U.S.E. Self De-Escalation - A simple guide to help you identify, assess, and understand your emotions when you are feeling dysregulated, triggered, or upset
Pods and Pod Mapping Worksheet - Learn about “pods,” a term developed in 2014 by the Bay Area Transformative Justice Collective, and complete an activity that can help you consider the people in your life with whom you have respectful, trusting, and reciprocal relationships with
Queer Liberation Library - Apply online for a free library card that will give you access to QLL’s collection of ebooks and audiobooks showcasing “the diversity of queer lives and imaginations,” all hosted on the free Libby app
DPLA’s Banned Books Club - The Digital Public Library of America offers readers access to ebook versions of banned books via a virtual library card on the free Palace app, which uses your location in order to offer the titles that have been banned near you
It Gets Better - This ongoing project works to uplift, empower, and connect lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer (LGBTQ+) youth around the globe
The Trevor Project - Call, text, or chat online 24/7, 7 days a week with the leading suicide prevention and crisis intervention nonprofit for LGBTQ+ youth, and you’ll be connected to counselors trained to understand the challenges that LGBTQ+ young people face and provide anonymous support where as much or as little as an individual likes can be shared
TrevorSpace: the Trevor Project’s online community (for youth ages 13-24) - Explore your identity, get advice, find support groups, and make friends in an international, moderated social space intentionally designed for LGBTQ+ youth
The LGBT National Youth Talkline (ages 25 and under) - Call Mon-Fri from 3p-11p and from 11a-4p on Saturdays CST or utilize the Online Peer Support Chat during the same operating hours as the Talkline to connect with a support volunteer that identifies within the LGBTQIA+ community, will provide peer support, and can connect you to local resources
The LGBT National Coming Out Support Hotline (all ages) - Call during the same operating hours as the Youth Talkline or utilize the Online Peer Support Chat to connect with a support volunteer that identifies within the LGBTQIA+ community and can talk to you about anything you have questions about or need support for around the coming-out process
The LGBT National Hotline’s Youth Chatrooms (for ages 19 and under) - Visit two moderated chat rooms run by the LGBT National Hotline: The LGBTQ Teens Chatroom, open Tuesdays & Wednesdays from 6pm-10pm CST, and the Trans Teens Chatroom, open Thursdays & Fridays, also from 6pm-10pm CST
Trans Lifeline - Call Mon-Fri 12pm-8pm CST to speak to a trans/nonbinary peer operator trained to provide you support while maintaining full anonymity & confidentiality and avoiding engaging in non-consensual active rescue (calling 911, law enforcement, or emergency services without your permission)
Visit our Healthcare and Mental Health Resources page for more.
research and data
Prism Project: Youth Experiences - Info from the 2019 report assessing Tulsa’s LGBTQ+ community— includes bright spots, challenges, and more
Prism Project: Family & Community Experiences - Includes info about experiences with immediate family, religious communities, law enforcement
The Trevor Project Research Brief: Gender-Affirming Care for Youth (2020) - This brief reviews the empirical (observed or experienced) evidence about the social, medical, and legal outcomes of youth access to gender-affirming care, with recommendations on how transgender and nonbinary youth can best be supported
Five Things to Know About Gender-Affirming Health Care - An article from the ACLU discussing the 2021 care ban passed in Arkansas and listing five excerpts from personal testimonies and briefs that were submitted for the first court hearing addressing the constitutionality of bans on gender-affirming care
What is gender-affirming care? - The Association of American Medical Colleges answers common questions about gender-affirming care and quotes several physicians
What to Know About Gender-Affirming Care for Younger Patients - This article from the American Medical Association discusses pediatric care for transgender youth, talks about defining gender-affirming care, explains the importance of autonomy, and links to another AMA article about the dangers transphobic legislation poses for medical care at large
Resources for Families
LGBTQ Youth & Family Resources - Learn about why family acceptance matters and find services and support near you, along with key resources including crisis & support lines, culture-based resources, evidence-based resources, faith-based resources, and national resources
PFLAG: Find a Chapter - Connect with a local chapter of the longest running organization dedicated to supporting, educating, and advocating for LGBTQ+ people and their families
Coming Out: Information for Parents of LGBTQ Teens - An article about a variety of steps parents and families can take to affirm and support their child as and after they come out
7 Ways to Be a Better Ally to LGBTQIA+ Parents - A list of ways that you can support, celebrate, and advocate for LGBTQIA+ parents
Faith-based resources
The National LGBT Task Force: Queering Faith - An organization working to uplift the narrative that LGBTQ people exist as shapers of their religious communities that offers a year-long leadership training program for transgender, nonbinary, and gender non-conforming individuals pursuing formal careers in religious life
What Happens When a Queer Muslim Meets a Lesbian Reverend? - This uplifting episode of PBS’s Brave Spaces webseries follows the founder of the Queer Muslim Network and the senior pastor of the Metropolitan Community Church (both located in Toronto, ON) as they share space, worship, and discuss reconciling queerness and faith